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Wednesday, September 13, 2006
{ 7:45 AM on '' }
not giving a shit about a lot of things [and people] doesnt mean that i dont have emotions and feelings too you know. like hello who are you to judge me.
idol was annoying. supernova was interesting. i like lukas! not that i watched a lot of the episodes or anything, but yea.
i like to read this random [okay not so random but whatever] dude's blog. his entries are quite emo, but good emo, highly reflective. not at all angsty emo, get it? there's way too much of that already. so anyway, his five reasons to live : family, friends, love, money, religion. none of which, for me, is wholly fulfilled. '
family : i guess considering the circumstances i'm grateful for what i have. but the problem is i dont show it enough. actually i dont show it at all. i dont know how to handle emotions. or maybe sometimes i just simply dont want to. i know it's my fault but i dont know what to do about it. i prefer pretending not to care to actually dealing with anything at all.
friends : you never know who your friends are, do you. you never know what's going on behind your back. which is why i dont like to open up too much [or at all]. so my main purpose of having friends is, well, to put it bluntly, for fun. you know, to laugh with, be retarded with. because that works for me. i'd rather brush things off than deal with them. so no heart-to-heart talks, bring on the retardation. not that i dont give a damn about anyone at all. i'm not heartless, contrary to popular belief.
love : haha.
money : okay so money isnt a such a big problem since i get allowance? while the emo dude works so yea.
religion : i havent fully embraced it yet. i pray and all that jazz, but i know im a horrible Muslim. like someone once said, there's no point doing things for the sake of doing them [even though you do get the pahala anyway] if you dont like, fully understand why you're doing them and really want to them in the first place. it's scary though.
so, conclusion? i dont exactly have a reason to live? not that i dont want to live. i like life. i just dont know what to do with it.
i have problems penning down my thoughts. so much for eloquence [hahahahaha!].
anyway isnt it funny how sometimes the people you hardly know can make you super damn happy while the people "closest" to you can make you feel like shit. go figure.
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Wednesday, September 13, 2006
{ 7:45 AM on '' }
not giving a shit about a lot of things [and people] doesnt mean that i dont have emotions and feelings too you know. like hello who are you to judge me.
idol was annoying. supernova was interesting. i like lukas! not that i watched a lot of the episodes or anything, but yea.
i like to read this random [okay not so random but whatever] dude's blog. his entries are quite emo, but good emo, highly reflective. not at all angsty emo, get it? there's way too much of that already. so anyway, his five reasons to live : family, friends, love, money, religion. none of which, for me, is wholly fulfilled. '
family : i guess considering the circumstances i'm grateful for what i have. but the problem is i dont show it enough. actually i dont show it at all. i dont know how to handle emotions. or maybe sometimes i just simply dont want to. i know it's my fault but i dont know what to do about it. i prefer pretending not to care to actually dealing with anything at all.
friends : you never know who your friends are, do you. you never know what's going on behind your back. which is why i dont like to open up too much [or at all]. so my main purpose of having friends is, well, to put it bluntly, for fun. you know, to laugh with, be retarded with. because that works for me. i'd rather brush things off than deal with them. so no heart-to-heart talks, bring on the retardation. not that i dont give a damn about anyone at all. i'm not heartless, contrary to popular belief.
love : haha.
money : okay so money isnt a such a big problem since i get allowance? while the emo dude works so yea.
religion : i havent fully embraced it yet. i pray and all that jazz, but i know im a horrible Muslim. like someone once said, there's no point doing things for the sake of doing them [even though you do get the pahala anyway] if you dont like, fully understand why you're doing them and really want to them in the first place. it's scary though.
so, conclusion? i dont exactly have a reason to live? not that i dont want to live. i like life. i just dont know what to do with it.
i have problems penning down my thoughts. so much for eloquence [hahahahaha!].
anyway isnt it funny how sometimes the people you hardly know can make you super damn happy while the people "closest" to you can make you feel like shit. go figure.
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