Showin' how funky strong is your fight.
Monday, November 02, 2009
{ 3:12 AM on '' }


I figured sitting for my first A level paper is momentous enough to warrant an entry so here we go.

I was damn volatile yesterday like for a few hours I was damn zen then panic then zen then panic. I went to bed feeling zen but my brain apparently didn't agree with my heart because it was on overoverovertime and I only woke up like 2894834828242267 times throughout the night with random malay words swirling in my head and at some point random poems because my brain decided oh let's switch to Lit now. So I was super sleepy (but still zen) by the time I woke up. I was zen on the way to school too until Diah texted me about how nervous she was and that was when I had a major panic attack haha I know damn drama I can't wait to look back on this and laugh (right now can't quite laugh yet cos I don't find myself That ridic yet). There I was almost hyperventilating in the bus haha I swear it was the most nervous I've been in my entire life. It was like the moments before a bahas final, only 100 times worse. Like I was trembling and my heart was trying to pound its way out of my chest. When I got to school I went to the wishing well in hopes of finding familiar faces that could offer some semblance of comfort and lo and behold there were Nat Yingqi and Christina thank god. The other two soon disappeared so I stayed with Yq for like half hour or so and she thankfully distracted me with her Lit SAT stuff and offered me precious Lakerol and finally I could breathe and function like a normal person. I hadn't eaten at all and was planning to grab something in school but decided against it in case I puked which seemed quite likely to happen. So my stomach was growling like an vicious bulldog (are there friendly/cute/happy bulldogs?) throughout. So anyway I was back to being calm right but my brain again refused to work with my heart and I had to open my locker 3 or 4 times because I kept forgetting things like jacket and entry proof and whatnot.

At this point you might have realised I haven't mentioned anything about the paper and I am not going to because it is against my principles. Chey. Not really because I kinda ranted to Kak Mai a bit but other than that my motto for A levels is Jangan Pandang Belakang. That's why I kinda wish I had a paper tomorrow so it's easier for me to stop thinking about today's paper. But kinda only la. Anyway my second motto for A levels is Do Not Underestimate The Bell Curve. Which is related to the first motto because ultimately The Bell Curve determines what grade you get so there is no use thinking about how you did right. Even if you think YES DAMN HAPPY EVERYTHING I STUDIED CAME OUT, for all you know eveybody in Singapore is thinking the same thing and you will actually get a lousy grade. And the reverse might be true even if you think OMG I SCREWED UP TTM. So... Just study and pray for the best.

Ok I know I said I wasn't going to talk about the paper but actually I meant that I wasn't going to talk about how I did or felt about it. -start rant- Can I just say that it is very mean to have things like "jenayah yang melibatkan ugutan dan perampasan harta milik orang lain" and "pecah masuk rumah dan jenayah dan bersangkutan" in the alih teks. The former is Ten words and the latter seven. By the time I make a point I would have used up half of the word count or something. Menyusahkan orang can. - end rant-

Ok dah bye

MARYAM (:
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