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Tuesday, November 24, 2009
{ 8:01 AM on '' }
So A levels have been really gruelling but enlightening too. I have learnt that:
1) Just because you don't feel stressed doesn't mean you're not. Other than the stupz panic attack before the first paper I actually felt relatively calm for the rest? And I thought that I wasn't stressed but the pimples hair loss and weight gain obviously prove me wrong. Nobody told me it would physically degenerate my body ): And it's subconscious like I don't feel hungry or anything but just to take a break from stupid studying I would somehow find myself in the kitchen looking for food and it doesn't help that my mum seems to keep replenishing the chocolate supply in the fridge. Really depressing. And even though I don't Feel stressed even during the papers themselves, it is translated in my papers. Like I don't feel very pressured or anything but I can't think straight and I tend to not finish organising my thoughts before I start writing which is mega mega bad.
2) I am a coward. I am afraid to try things that I am not used to. Like for econs even if a globalisation question or oil question is easy I wouldn't do it because I am not confortable and I'm scared to try even though I did study the topics. Cowardly like that. Which led me to do the Othello essay instead of context even though the context was SO OBVIOUSLY the easier choice and in fact I kinda anticipated it but because I don't usually do context I stuck to the essay which I totally regretted at that time and whined like hell (leading my dear classmate to make that srjc comment). In retrospect I don't regret it anymore I mean everything happens for a reason and there must be some warped reason my brain decided to pick the harder question. So for the next lit paper (ie today's) I learnt my lesson and decided that I will be brave. And I was! :D I usually do poem for Renaissance unseen because the dramas always seem too long with too many words and I'm always scared that by the time I analyse it I won't have enough time to write. But this time I did drama instead of poem even though some people are saying that the poem was the easier choice but I'm really proud of myself for picking something I don't usually do and felt really good about it. Even though it was a weird drama because it wasn't a revenge tragedy (No one believed me when I said the drama could be a comedy!!!) but yea I'm glad I chose it. I know this is like such a trivial matter but I'm really happy it's a small step in getting rid of my cowardly ways.
In my excitement today I forgot to bring my jacket, almost forgot my pencil case (this happens to me for almost every paper), forgot to bring notes/books that I'm supposed to return cikgu and left my books in my locker. Macam damn excited so grabbed my bag and dumped my texts in my locker without thinking about when the hell I'm going to collect my books. As much as I thought I didn't want to keep the Lit texts I actually kinda do haha sentimental konon. I love Lit. So I have to return someday before they decide to clear our lockers? And to return cikgu's stuff. Spoiler sia. In the meantime GOODBYE RJ YOU HAVE NOT BEEN GOOD TO ME GOODBYE GOODBYE
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Tuesday, November 24, 2009
{ 8:01 AM on '' }
So A levels have been really gruelling but enlightening too. I have learnt that:
1) Just because you don't feel stressed doesn't mean you're not. Other than the stupz panic attack before the first paper I actually felt relatively calm for the rest? And I thought that I wasn't stressed but the pimples hair loss and weight gain obviously prove me wrong. Nobody told me it would physically degenerate my body ): And it's subconscious like I don't feel hungry or anything but just to take a break from stupid studying I would somehow find myself in the kitchen looking for food and it doesn't help that my mum seems to keep replenishing the chocolate supply in the fridge. Really depressing. And even though I don't Feel stressed even during the papers themselves, it is translated in my papers. Like I don't feel very pressured or anything but I can't think straight and I tend to not finish organising my thoughts before I start writing which is mega mega bad.
2) I am a coward. I am afraid to try things that I am not used to. Like for econs even if a globalisation question or oil question is easy I wouldn't do it because I am not confortable and I'm scared to try even though I did study the topics. Cowardly like that. Which led me to do the Othello essay instead of context even though the context was SO OBVIOUSLY the easier choice and in fact I kinda anticipated it but because I don't usually do context I stuck to the essay which I totally regretted at that time and whined like hell (leading my dear classmate to make that srjc comment). In retrospect I don't regret it anymore I mean everything happens for a reason and there must be some warped reason my brain decided to pick the harder question. So for the next lit paper (ie today's) I learnt my lesson and decided that I will be brave. And I was! :D I usually do poem for Renaissance unseen because the dramas always seem too long with too many words and I'm always scared that by the time I analyse it I won't have enough time to write. But this time I did drama instead of poem even though some people are saying that the poem was the easier choice but I'm really proud of myself for picking something I don't usually do and felt really good about it. Even though it was a weird drama because it wasn't a revenge tragedy (No one believed me when I said the drama could be a comedy!!!) but yea I'm glad I chose it. I know this is like such a trivial matter but I'm really happy it's a small step in getting rid of my cowardly ways.
In my excitement today I forgot to bring my jacket, almost forgot my pencil case (this happens to me for almost every paper), forgot to bring notes/books that I'm supposed to return cikgu and left my books in my locker. Macam damn excited so grabbed my bag and dumped my texts in my locker without thinking about when the hell I'm going to collect my books. As much as I thought I didn't want to keep the Lit texts I actually kinda do haha sentimental konon. I love Lit. So I have to return someday before they decide to clear our lockers? And to return cikgu's stuff. Spoiler sia. In the meantime GOODBYE RJ YOU HAVE NOT BEEN GOOD TO ME GOODBYE GOODBYE
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