Showin' how funky strong is your fight.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
{ 3:50 AM on '' }


so like HADY WON hooraaaaaay! [: even though i am still sad that taufik got dethroned(!) and all. but ah well, at least it was hady cos getting dethroned by jonathan would be... sad. no offence or anything, but yeah. anyway taufik is still way hotter than hady so :D!

anw, idol finals was FUN SHITZ. and to think that at first i wasnt even keen on going. tsk. hmm, the performance show was quite okay, but the only parts where i got really high was the top 10 performance at the start of the show and hady's third song, the red bull one. as in you give me wings. right. it was way better than jon's version? like yeah. oh yeah but i was quite annoyed cos neither noodle nor paul exited from the left of the stage that night so we didnt get to wave or say hi. ):

oh and after the whole thing we were stoning at the bus stop for awhile, subtlely watching noodle's sister [haha dont ask] when this van drove past. i didnt think much of it, until someone from inside waved. before i could compute that it was jasmine and that it was the top 10's van(!), joakim stood up and started waving around like a monkey. haha yes.

RESULTS SHOW WAS FUNNER SHITZ. like seriously, i was damn damn damn happy. first they had pre-show performances! first by the top 10 guys, then girls. this time EVERYONE was going in and out from the left side so we were like :D :D :D :D :D!!!! like omg the first few times i shouted to noodle she either completely didnt hear or chose to ignore me or heard, but couldnt figure out where my voice came from so she looked at every other direction. ): but after a few performances, she finally heard and looked up and waved! haha she pointed at me with a sense of recognition! and told us to enjoy the show. yay. but after awhile she didnt layan anymore cos they had to change like woo fast after each performance so sometimes she was like taking her shoes off while rushing backstage and all so yup. haha paul layaned us almost all the time though! and he's always the last one to change, and joakim's always the first one. heh.

OH AND TAUFIK WAS SMOULDERING HOT HOT HOT! i miss him like maaaaad! ): electrico was hot too! but the audience was quite sucky, like no one else was standing up or jumping around? pfffft. oh the indiv top 10 performances were fun! but why oh why did noodle sing a jessica simpson song. haha i enjoyed it anyway! and PAUL omg PAUUUUL! damn cute!

yup so yada yada, at the end of the show we went to the front and i got to hug noodle! [: the crowd got a bit violent, like noodle's sister almost fell over the railing? /: hmm so after that we waited at the van area. paul was one of the first to come out. haha he was being so retarded, i like! :D then nurul came out and i was like i must get her to sign something! problem is, i didnt have anything, so i was being sad and arina was like, get her to sign your arm! cos paul signed hers hahaha. in a moment of impulse i was like ok! so yup. i bet she thinks i'm a loser but that's okay. so while she was signing...

me: nurul! do you remember my name?
noodle: ermmmmm... [she was stalling hahaha]
arina: maryam!
noodle: oh yes maryam! of course, i remember!
me: hahaha that was so fake!
noodle: no no! i know, it's maryam with a Y right right!
me: you do remember! :D :D :D

-

noodle: so did you guys enjoy the show?
everyone: YESSSSSS.
-silence-
arina: cos paul was there.
[and paul grins spastically at the back]
noodle: -rolls eyes- right... whateverrrr paul, whateverrrr!
and they started pushing each other heheh. super cute!

-

so yup at the end of it all us two boboheads had signed arms. wahoo.

i cant post pictures for some reason so whatever man forget it. and yes i know i'm a loser but i dont give a damn? yup. :D

Friday, September 22, 2006
{ 6:37 AM on '' }


I FEEL POWERFUL. holding on to finals tickets gives me power baby. picture this! like a huuuuuge group of hady/jon fans crying their eyes out for tickets, worshipping maryam while she stands on a pedestal looking important. and then proceeds to tear the tickets up one by one in front of them! like hahahaha! :D ok i shall shut up. like hello the tickets arent even yours you bobohead.

anyway as i was waiting for the nice lady at the reception to locate those sacred little things, the phone rang and she was like, paul ah? yea he went in already! just went in i think. i was like afhkrharnvrwaopuo! i bet he was there like five minutes before i came or something pffft.

i think i've become quite obsessed with snake. as in the game in my phone. i tell you, i can relek one corner and go at it for hours man. which is why i constantly progress! and it's SOOOO frustrating when you lose by like one second aaahhhhhh. i'm like less than five levels away from the end and it's killing meeeeee.

fasting month is cominggggg. so exciting. [that wasnt sarcastic by the way.] but i'm not looking forward to raya. like can i not go visiting? except when it's like friends' houses or like, taufik's house [hahahahahaha] or like noodle's house or yea okay you get the point. but yes age and green packets are inversely proportionate [when age increases, number of green packets decreases!] it's so annoyingggg. sigh.

i'm watching that super sweet sixteen episode where frankie j freaking serenaded the rich bitch. and she dyed her poodles pink for her party. and she got two cars. the red eclipse is super hot man why does she get to drive it around i bet she hasnt gotten her license raaar. money really does make the world go round. sad.

it sucks to know that if i were to be kidnapped by aliens or disappeared from the face of the earth just like that, no one would actually notice or care.
shut up evil emo twin.

incoherence, incoherence. how to do well for lit?!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006
{ 7:52 AM on '' }


i know. and i know you know. honestly, i'm lost and there is no fucking map or compass to give me a sense of direction so i'm really very sorry. and thank you. i hope you get the message. if you dont, then it's probably not directed to you so you dont need to care.

this emo shitz is starting to get to me. fuck it la. [yes yiyun go ahead and pinch me]. it better be pms or some shit that's temporary and it better go away now now now before i explode or end up doing stupid things that i will regret later on.

on another note, i think the lying and sneaking in was almost more fun than the actual thing? it's not my fault i'm such an innocent little rule-abider. so of course breaking rules is like, thrilling for me. haha. evidently i dont have a life, but hey what else is new. kudos to rai for agreeing to be a bobohead with me! :D

i want to go backpacking through europeeeee. as in seriously. raar i am itching to get away from singapore and explore the world! dont ask me why, i have no clue.

and someone tutor me french! s'il vous plait? ):

the perfect sky is torn, isn't it.

Saturday, September 16, 2006
{ 7:06 AM on '' }


hello world i am bored.

so i am [kind of] halfway through ss pt. yay me. oh wait there's that reflection shittums too. fabulous. and after that comes chem pt. why the fuck do they not want us to have a life huh huh huh. just because they couldnt get better jobs, they take it out on students. pffft, teachers.

oh, i said fuck. oh i said it again. it's starting to become instinctive again. and i am influencing has [and yiyun] to swear! power. anyway i dont get the whole vulgarities thing. so what if its a vulgarity. it's just a word. there's nothing wrong with it. poor, poor vulgarities are being ostracized. ]:

it's a hypocritical world out there, so put on your freaky socks and do the shibbi-wibbi.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006
{ 7:45 AM on '' }


not giving a shit about a lot of things [and people] doesnt mean that i dont have emotions and feelings too you know. like hello who are you to judge me.

idol was annoying. supernova was interesting. i like lukas! not that i watched a lot of the episodes or anything, but yea.

i like to read this random [okay not so random but whatever] dude's blog. his entries are quite emo, but good emo, highly reflective. not at all angsty emo, get it? there's way too much of that already. so anyway, his five reasons to live : family, friends, love, money, religion. none of which, for me, is wholly fulfilled. '

family : i guess considering the circumstances i'm grateful for what i have. but the problem is i dont show it enough. actually i dont show it at all. i dont know how to handle emotions. or maybe sometimes i just simply dont want to. i know it's my fault but i dont know what to do about it. i prefer pretending not to care to actually dealing with anything at all.

friends : you never know who your friends are, do you. you never know what's going on behind your back. which is why i dont like to open up too much [or at all]. so my main purpose of having friends is, well, to put it bluntly, for fun. you know, to laugh with, be retarded with. because that works for me. i'd rather brush things off than deal with them. so no heart-to-heart talks, bring on the retardation. not that i dont give a damn about anyone at all. i'm not heartless, contrary to popular belief.

love : haha.

money : okay so money isnt a such a big problem since i get allowance? while the emo dude works so yea.

religion : i havent fully embraced it yet. i pray and all that jazz, but i know im a horrible Muslim. like someone once said, there's no point doing things for the sake of doing them [even though you do get the pahala anyway] if you dont like, fully understand why you're doing them and really want to them in the first place. it's scary though.

so, conclusion? i dont exactly have a reason to live? not that i dont want to live. i like life. i just dont know what to do with it.

i have problems penning down my thoughts. so much for eloquence [hahahahaha!].

anyway isnt it funny how sometimes the people you hardly know can make you super damn happy while the people "closest" to you can make you feel like shit. go figure.

Sunday, September 10, 2006
{ 6:02 AM on '' }


SHIT I LOVE NOODLE SHE'S SO SWEET I LOVE HERRRRRRRRRR.

and i miss paul.

Friday, September 08, 2006
{ 4:11 AM on '' }


the whole damn thing is a conspiracy. seriously.

my heart goes out to paul man. but there's so much love and support so it's all good. like he said, it's like he's already won.

yesterday was an extremely long and rollercoasterish day. from farewell to rushing to mediacorp, to bawling our eyes out, to stoning at ang mo kio, to having our own "roadshow" at 1am.

i think paul's very lucky to have a family like that. i wish i had a family like that.

anyway it's not the end of paul twohill. great things lie ahead for the dude. he hasnt flashed his butt on tv yet, so he'll be back. (;

Wednesday, September 06, 2006
{ 7:00 AM on '' }


i was gonna write an emo post cos i've been feeling emo and being emo is like, fun. BUT.

PAUL MADE ME HIGHHHHHHHH :D


okay so the picture's really uncool but hey i'm not good at licking pictures okay! (not that i'm good at any other pictures, come to think of it).

HOORAY FOR PAUL! now i'm not like, ohkay i dont want paul to get out yet.

now i'm like, I WANT PAUL TO STAYYYYYYY! :D WOO WOO!

today was a good day. hooray for walking around at the same places over and over again and spending tons and tons of monehhhh :D :D :D which people better pay me back tmr! but hooray! \:D/ and yay for meeting natalya cos cos all day i had a feeling i was gonna meet someone cool and tada! hee.

tsk just when i was getting used to my laptop taking (less than) 20secs instead of 20mins to turn on/off, it's starting to lag! naughty laptop. and red friend's here! ):

it's all good cos PAUL MADE ME HIGH! :D


Friday, September 01, 2006
{ 9:37 AM on '' }


IT'S ALIVEEEEEEEEEEEE!

my laptop, that is! -does happy dance- woo! muacks i love you i'm sorry i abused you i will never do it again.

i didnt bother tranferring my files to a hard disk cos i dont give a damn about all the school-related documents. BUT. i forgot about pictures! they're all goneeeeeeee. ): stupid maryam. thankgod some are saved in my online album so yay. but the restttttt. pffft.

so since i've been gone for a long time you would think that i have a lot to blog about. but erh. i dont? i still hate school, and people, yada yada. same old same old.

oh for the record, i broke my promise and voted. but! it's all good cos i met noodle and i think she's happy with her post-idol life so i'm happy for her too. (: and i thought i wouldnt feel a'thing if paul got out cos i'm not that big a fan but ohwell i shall be honest and say that my heart was pounding like maaaaaaad.

hmm. i think i'm a very fake person. and an unhappy one too. i wouldnt want to be friends with me.

MARYAM (:
08061991